Today marks the start of Good Divorce Week, a week long campaign led by Resolution with the aim of ensuring children are least impacted when parents go through a separation or divorce. Throughout the week we’ll be sharing ideas
Throughout the week, we’ll be sharing ideas on how to be sure that children are included and considered during the often stressful and upsetting process. We start with Jane Auty, one of our Family Solicitors, discussing communication.
Why is communication so important after separation or divorce?
Communicating with your children is key to keeping them involved and aware of what is happening with their family. It’s going to be a big change for you and for them so speaking with them often, and in an age appropriate way by using language they will understand, will help them comprehend the changes that are taking place. Speak with them regularly so that they don’t feel left out and speak with them together to demonstrate that you are all working on this as a team to get the best outcome for everyone, including them.
“showing a dislike or even hate for the
other person will likely upset your children”
It’s easy for parents to blame each other
It’s easy for parents to blame each other for the breakdown but blaming each other should be avoided. Displaying negative feelings or showing a dislike or even hate for the other person will likely upset your children and will not help maintain a strong and happy relationship between you and your children going forward. Behaviours like this can lead to what is known as parental alienation, a situation where one parent either intentionally or otherwise speaks badly of the other parent which in turn can lead to the children sharing those same views and subsequently damage their relationship with their parent.
Finally, whilst you as a couple may have fallen out of love and are choosing to separate, it most certainly won’t be the case for your children. They will still love you just as much you will still love them so tell them so.
BLOG: Top Tips for Co-Parenting After Divorce
Co-parenting after divorce is rarely easy. Often, the breakdown of the relationship will have been an emotional and stressful one, and you may have negative feelings towards your ex-spouse.
A Blog by Shelley Wales.
Get in touch with our divorce family lawyers in West Yorkshire
For more information about separation and divorce and how mediation can help then contact us for a free consultation. Speak to our divorce family law solicitors in Wakefield, Ossett, Garforth, Sherburn in Elmet or Mapplewell, West Yorkshire today by calling 01924 290 029 or ask a question using our online enquiry form.
Frequently Asked Questions about divorce
A straightforward divorce case will usually take approximately 26 weeks to complete. However, this can be significantly longer if there are financial matters to be resolved, especially if the matters are not agreed.
It is not possible to begin divorce proceedings within the first year of marriage. Unfortunately, this means that no matter how difficult the circumstances, you have to wait until you have been married for over one year before you are able to apply for a divorce. As soon as the first year of marriage has elapsed then you are able to petition for divorce and the relevant documentation can be prepared before the end of the year so that the petition can be filed at the earliest possible opportunity. If your individual circumstances mean waiting until the year has elapsed would be intolerable there are other alternatives such as judicial separation, making an application for a non-molestation order and/or an occupation order or an application under the Married Women’s Property Act.
A Child Arrangement Order (CAO) is an order that regulates who a child lives with and spends time with. They came into effect in 2014, replacing the old contact and residence orders. A CAO can detail very specific arrangements for the child or it can be more open with detailed arrangements to be made between the parties by agreement. If a CAO states that a child lives with a particular person then that person will have Parental Responsibility for that child until the expiration of the Order. There are a variety of persons who are entitled to apply for a CAO including parents, step-parents, guardians or anyone with whom the child has been living with for the past three years. Other people may apply for a CAO for a child if they obtain the consent of everyone with parental responsibility of obtain the permission of the Court. A CAO will end, at the latest, upon the child reaching the age of 18 however this can be shorter if a care order is made in respect of the child.
Collaborative Family Law is a process which enables you to resolve your dispute without going to Court. The process involves you, your Solicitor, your former partner and their Solicitor sitting down together in an attempt to resolve the issues and reach a settlement. This process is often much more advantageous to certain individuals as you remain in control of the process and have your legal representative present for any advice or guidance required. In addition, you are able to set the agenda of the meeting and work at a pace which is most comfortable for you.
If the family home is registered in the joint names of you and your former partner, then choosing to leave the family home during divorce negotiations will not put you in a weaker position. From a tactical point of view, there may be strong reasons to remain in the family home throughout the course of the negotiations. However, this will depend on your individual circumstances and it is best to seek advice from a Solicitor regarding this.
In order to get a divorce, we would charge a fixed fee of £500 plus VAT to deal with the divorce on your behalf. In addition to this, there is a standard Court fee of £593.00 for filing the divorce. You may be able to claim a reduction on the Court fee if you are on certain benefits or are on a low income.
No, as the child’s father, you will only have automatic parental responsibility for your children if you were married to the child’s mother at the time of the child’s birth or if you are named on the child’s birth certificate. If this is not the case then there are ways in which you can attain Parental Responsibility for a particular child and it is advised that you seek legal advice to discuss your options further.
Mediation is a way of dealing with a dispute outside of the Court process. It involves the appointment of a neutral third party the mediator who will assist the parties in reaching an agreement in respect of their dispute. The mediator is impartial and has no authority to make any decisions in respect of the parties issues. Their role is simply to help the parties reach an agreement through negotiation. Mediation is a voluntary process and so you are not obligated to attend. However, if you intend on making an application for a Child Arrangements Order, Specific Issue Order. Prohibited Steps Order or an application for a Financial Order then the law requires that you attend a ‘Mediation, Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM).
Contact Us
☎️ Call our Wakefield office on 01924 290 029
☎️ Call our Garforth office on 0113 246 4423
☎️ Call our Sherburn in Elmet office on 01977 350 500
☎️ Call our Mapplewell office on 01226 339 009
☎️ Call our Ossett office on 01924 586 466